I really wanna hug myself
Give her a very warm hug she needs the most
I really wanna cry with her, tell her : it’s okay to not be okay
I really wanna validate her emotions, tell her
yes, these moments are so hard to you to face,
so it’s okay to be sad, to be dissapointed,
it’s okay, my dear
I really wanna look her in the eye and make her believe
that she doesn’t need to be positive all the time
I really wanna let her rest, not blaming her for anything
I really wanna help her to release all her tiredness away
I really wanna say to myself,
“You did a good job so far my dear, it’s not your fault.”
I really wanna try to understand every wound that she has
One, by one
One, by one

I really wanna make her sure that she is precious to me
No matter the world says, no matter what happen in life
It won’t change
I really wanna support her, always be there for her
Become her company who will always be ready
To hold her tight, to provide emotional support and care
To be the one who will listen patiently to her heartaches
And every story she went through
I really wanna share my sincere compassion with her
that i always freely give to others
But rarely, to her
I don’t wanna forget her again, i don’t
It’s now time to prioritize her for the sake of
her recovery

I really wanna love myself, that much
I really wanna let her to be a mere human
Who can fall, who can be imperfect
Who can embrace the weakness & limitation
As the undeniable part of humanity
I really wanna let her to be a mere human
But still, a tough warrior
Who has survived this life this far
I know she really wants to give up soon,
But she still stands: not really strong
Especially in the hard times,
but she is trying to be resilient
And that’s enough for me

I really wanna take care for her, seriously
Appreciate her existence, accept her wholeheartedly
And never take her for granted,
Never again

I really wanna hug myself, like a good friend
I really wanna tell her, yes, this is hard, but we can go
through this together. And make her smile in peace,
Because the hug and the words,
Knowing our togetherness matters the most


Yes, self-compassion is the greatest gift
I can give to her, to myself, in these moments,
these unfriendly phases of life



Depok, September 11th, 2018

Yuliana Martha Tresia
Yuliana Martha Tresia
Berlatar belakang pendidikan Sosiologi, Yuliana yang merupakan Mental Health Writer & Promotor menaruh perhatian besar pada isu kesehatan jiwa, khususnya dalam keterkaitannya dengan masalah kemiskinan, isu perempuan dan gender, serta kelompok minoritas. Ia bercita-cita agar Indonesia lebih terbuka dan responsif terhadap kesehatan jiwa, tanpa bayang-bayang stigmatisasi lagi. Untuk itu, ia percaya, tulisan adalah salah satu sarana untuk terus berbicara dan mengedukasi. Dapat dikontak di akun Instagram @yoeels.